The first shot was the easiest. It’s new and exciting! Finally maybe this will actually work. But then as the days continue, the doctors appointments become more frequent and the bruising sets in, it hits me, how did I really get here?
There’s so many steps that happen before IVF. For us, there was no concrete reason why we hadn’t conceived. I’ve had my fare share of challenges, but still no clear answer as to why? Yet here I was in the kitchen standing alone talking to the dog hyping myself up to start this process. The crazy thing is, I had a feeling this would be difficult, but not this difficult. You know the faux difficult like in the movies where everything is solved within 90 minutes, not 90 months.
After several failed IUI’s we decided to jump head first into IVF. After my third IUI I knew it was time to move on. Let me set the scene. I’m in the examination room feets up and ready for my husbands sperm to swim on up and meet these eggs so they can do what they do. But oh noooooo this seasoned nurse wants to stab my cervix three times before she tells me to “sit tight” so she can go get help. First off, Betty, bitch where am I going to go?? I had two words. I just stared at the blank ceiling and promised myself this would be the last time. The doctor came and shoved the catheter right on it. Walking back to the car, cramping and sore, I knew it was time to change fertility doctors. Clearly my insides are already broken so having someone stab me again wasn’t an option. That was the best decision I made. My next appointment with a fertility doctor would be life changing rollercoaster.
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