Ooooooweeeee! My attitude is on 10! I never thought I’d be sad at today being the last day I can inject myself with an itty bitty needle. Tomorrow morning, I graduate to the Progesterone shot! All of a sudden, while finishing dinner, I got mad at all of the other women sitting at home preparing to watch game of thrones, rubbing their bellies and enjoying their entire process. But noooo here I am again finishing dinner. *side note: my husband thought just grilling the steaks was cooking dinner.
Anyway, so I’m just trampling through the kitchen making a salad and pulling out all of the needles and other shit needed to start these shots at 4 a.m. That’s right, 4 a.m. at night! That’s the only consistent time my husband is available. I’m angry. Angry that I have to even do this. Angry that even after all of this it may not work. Today I didn’t want to hear encouraging words or thing happy thoughts of unicorns with multiple children sitting in the meadow. Today I didn’t want to listen to podcasts with inspirational stories from other women. Today I didn’t want to pray and lean on the Lord.
Today...I wanted to throw dishes at the wall. Today I wanted my husband to fix his own damn plate. Today I wanted to run everyone with a carseat off the road (empty car seats of course. More like a gentle push into the grass, no harm done.) Today I wanted to yell and scream why me. Today I wanted to cry. Today I wanted to just sit in my feelings in that moment. Because tomorrow....tomorrow I have to wake up at 4 a.m. and stick a needle in my ass to start another much happier, less angry version of today.
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